Wednesday 28 October 2015

Friendship

I've never been one to have a large social group. Never one to stand out in a crowd and have tons of friends. I was always of the mindset that it is better to have a couple close friends rather than a large group of acquaintances. Perhaps I have been wrong all along...

I have been open and honest with the friends that I had close with about my recent struggles with depression and what was happening in my life. Then, slowly but surely over the last 6-8 weeks, those friends have started to call and text less and less. 

Depression and anxiety are two things that I don't think I fully understood before. Now, as I am on this journey of self re-discovery, I am understanding it more and more each and every day. Someone who is suffering usually has to suffer in silence because people don't understand what it is like. They don't understand why someone feels that way and they are scared to be a part of it. 

Never did I ever think that being "open and honest" with "friends" would leave me feeling more alone than ever in the world. 

I have two options though, embrace who I am and start to live again as I work ethrough this journey or sink farther into depression because of them. 

I'll tell you this much-- they are not going to win. 

Tuesday 20 October 2015

Maybe it's just me....but...

It seemed like school was a lot less complicated about 20 years ago. Yes, there were bullies and yes, there were consequences but there was also a lot more fun and a lot more learning. 

It seems as though everything is changing in this world around us. Allow me to give you an example.

My son is in grade 3. He has been taught since he entered elementary school that he is to be friends with everyone. He can't say no to playing with a child at school because this might hurt their feelings. Believe me, I am not the one teaching him this. The school has this policy of inclusion - which I LOVE but, there has to be a point at which we teach these kids the way of the real world. 

There are times when I don't want to hang out with certain people as an adult, but we are essentially teaching these children that they do not have the right to say no. 

There are people who I have met and I just don't get along with them as an adult, but we are teaching our children that they have to like everyone and be their friend. 

I feel more and more that we are teaching our children that the real world doesn't exist and then they are shocked when something happens and they discover that not everything is roses and lollipops. 

Thursday 15 October 2015

As a mom, you always question how you are doing for your children. Honestly, you don't want to be "the one" who screws them up or fails them. Something that is so different for this generation of children is technology.

When I was a small girl, I played outside all the time. My mom used to have to call me to come home for dinner. I would play with simple things...sticks, dirt, bikes. I would play in the forest behind our home. I didn't need to be entertained and I was able to use my imagination all the time.

It seems now that we have so much technology in our homes, children are having to be bribed more and more to play outside. My son said the other day that he could not play outside because he didn't have anything to play with. I was floored. He has soccer balls, a bike, a scooter, chalk, toys Nerf guns, paint -- you name it, he has it -- except he doesn't have a full built playground in his back yard.

What are we doing to our youth?

Are we placing them in front of the gaming system of choice and calling that parenting?

Tuesday 13 October 2015

Why Though?


As a child, we learn that we are special. Our parents cheer us on when we learn to eat, learn to talk, learn to walk. What we do as a child is regarded as special and each moment is documented and celebrated.

As we get older, we tend to feel the pressures of society weighing heavy on us. Even in high school, we can see the pressure mounting. What college or university we choose to attend is heavily scrutinized but people within our social circle and beyond.

When we graduate high school, society dictates that we should automatically attend college or university right away. We should move out of our parents’ home. We should have a job at the same time that we attend college.

Once we finish university, we are “supposed to” go and get a career job. The next steps in life are all set out for us. Sometimes the order of the following events is slightly reversed but, they are all to be completed. We are to purchase a home, we are to get married, we are to travel and see the sights of the world, we are to settle into our career and we are to have a family.

Why?

Why is this the “proper way” that we are to live our lives?

Why do we feel the societal pressures to achieve all of these societal goals?

What happens when you do not achieve them all? Are you suddenly placed on the “failure” platform and destined to lose at life?

I believe that we need to create goals independently for ourselves. Why are we attempting to appease everyone else by creating our cookie cutter life? Are we actually more interested in creating happiness for everyone but the person who matters the most – ourselves?